1. Religious Repressive Sex-Negative Culture
Roman & Greek cultures were significantly more sex-positive and
erotically expressive than the Judeo-Christian culture in which we
have been immersed. Whether you believe in these moral principles
or have found an alternative narrative, they remain a cornerstone of
our identity. It is important for each of us to explore how we may
have been influenced, inhibited or shamed by the cultural
messages of our time.
2. Secretive Shame-based Erotic Emergence
Erections and wet-dreams should be part of our birthright and rites
of passage towards manhood. Our actual experience tends to be
constrained by a call for stealth, speed, and secrecy. This is where
we lay the foundations and develop the neural pathways which
shape the way we have sex.
3. Cock – Arousal – Orgasm Focus
We move from our furtive wank under the sheets, to adult erotic
experiences constellated around our cock, arousal and orgasm.
The rest of the body becomes an apparatus to facilitate these
functions. Once arousal happens, we often seek the shortest route
to acheive the goal of orgasmic release/relief.
4. Masculine Bravado
Mention the word “sex” and many guys will brag about their
knowledge of tantra, sexual potency and conquests. We are
conditioned to be “in control” and “fix things”. It can be challenging
to be vulnerable, uncertain or inadequate. It’s time to get over
yourself and onto the path of healing & wholeness, fulfilment &
satisfaction, bliss & ecstacy.
5. Seek Guidance & Support
“If you don’t change direction, you may end up where you’re
headed” – Lao Tzu
“You are as sick as your secrets” -12 step tradition.
If you have managed to read through the first four obstacles, this
one will be obvious. We all gain varying degrees of pleasure and
satisfaction from our sex-lives. But there is so much more wanting
to be experienced. Our biggest obstacles are our blind spots, and it
often takes someone else to help uncover them. We need support
and encouragement to move beyond our resilient edge. Once you
start noticing, the unravelling is endlessly rewarding